the loving-kindness meditation

You cannot will yourself into particular feelings toward yourself or anyone else. Rather, you can practice reminding yourself that you deserve happiness and ease and that the same goes for your child, your family, your friends, your neighbours, and everyone else in the world.

A Loving-Kindness Meditation

Explore this practice to extend compassion to yourself, those around you, and the larger world.

This loving-kindness practice involves silently repeating phrases that offer good qualities to oneself and to others.

1. You can start by taking delight in your own goodness—calling to mind things you have done out of good-heartedness, and rejoicing in those memories to celebrate the potential for goodness we all share.

2. Silently recite phrases that reflect what we wish most deeply for ourselves in an enduring way. Traditional phrases are:
   • May I live in safety.
   • May I have mental happiness (peace, joy).
   • May I have physical happiness (health, freedom from pain).
   • May I live with ease.

3. Repeat the phrases with enough space and silence between so they fall into a rhythm that is pleasing to you. Direct your attention to one phrase at a time.

4. Each time you notice your attention has wandered, be kind to yourself and let go of the distraction. Come back to repeating the phrases without judging or disparaging yourself.

5. After some time, visualise yourself in the center of a circle composed of those who have been kind to you, or have inspired you because of their love. Perhaps you’ve met them, or read about them; perhaps they live now, or have existed historically or even mythically. That is the circle. As you visualise yourself in the center of it, experience yourself as the recipient of their love and attention. Keep gently repeating the phrases of loving-kindness for yourself.

6. To close the session, let go of the visualisation, and simply keep repeating the phrases for a few more minutes. Each time you do so, you are transforming your old, hurtful relationship to yourself, and are moving forward, sustained by the force of kindness.